4 out of 5 Doctors say we also need Another Hole In the Head

There’s a new shop opening up on Essex Street in Salem. You’re never going to guess what kind of shop is opening, on Essex Street in Salem, Massachusetts. Prepare to have your mind blown: It’s a Wicca Shop. This Wicca Shop is also owned and operated by a family of witches. On Essex Street in the town of Salem, Massachusetts, which is also colloquially referred to as “Witch City”.

Not much is known, by me, about the mother and daughter who assure visitors to their etsy shop that they are practicing witches in the heart of Salem, Massachusetts. Time will pass and maybe I will discover that they’re distant relations of Laurie Cabot. Or that they’re close friends with Christian Day, Lorelei Cabot, Laurie Bruno, or any of the long established figure heads and business owners of the city that have been here since before I was born.

When I first came to this town, it was with the intentions of being able to get the fortune teller’s license and subsequently making a fortune off the millions of people who come to this city year round. This did not come to pass, because certain shop owners are publicity hounds who throw big hissy fits when other shop owners besmirch their bottom line. I’m not even going to be nice about it online because it’s the truth. If it wasn’t, those same shop owners would not feel the need to announce to news stations that they intend to hold séances for major celebrities who run their mouths on radio shows.

Where this shop is opening, there used to be a very prominent leather shop, specializing in hand made leather goods like jackets and gloves. Naturally these are very expensive items and I’ll admit that I was going to purchase a wallet from them, had I not found one that was empty and clean in the parking lot of the mall while I was doing a cart run.

This shop was specifically about leather, but there was a woman who co-owned the store that offered tarot card readings for twenty-dollars a pop. This is the cheapest reading you could hope to get in Salem and they weren’t the only exclusively themed store to offer readings. Coon’s Gift Shop also offered readings for a time and they’re more like a privately owned Hallmark, selling the standard touristy items that people like to buy.

Then there was The Hissy Fit. Certain shop owners complained on the grounds of, “I Bring More Tax Dollars Into This Town, So Gimme, gimme, gimme.” Suddenly the individual fortune teller’s license was removed and now only shops that specifically boast a spiritual theme may offer readings in their store. So the leather shop was forced to change up some things. They still sold leather, but the inside of their shop became more exclusively “magick” and “wiccan” in order to keep their fortune teller’s license and still retain some semblance of originality in a town that was desperately becoming a free website template menu on crack.

The leather shop ran for about three more years. I don’t know the story of why they finally closed, but the point is that now the Hole In the Head Witch Shop is moving in as you read this. No, I’m not going to tell you the name of the store as I am truly not trying to curse them or create problems for them before they start. They’ve got enough on their plate already, considering they have the barest online presence and they are now competing with stores that have the advantage of time, experience, and a million shoppers who come from around the world with the hopes of getting an autograph on top of a reading.


One thought on “4 out of 5 Doctors say we also need Another Hole In the Head

  1. Pingback: A Phoenix Doesn’t Always Rise | Confessions of a Cart Jockey

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