I try to keep telling myself that I will find my audience. So I go to the open mics and when I don’t get the laughs, I try not to let that get me down and to feel proud of myself for finishing what I started.
Wednesday, I went to an open mic in Charlestown. I did roughly the same material that you may have seen in my Walnut Street set. A few chuckles, but otherwise, I didn’t kill. That’s fine because even the headliners had to work for their laughs, although there were a few really funny ones before me.
Yesterday I went to Brookline. It’s definitely a city with it’s own merits, although I really don’t see myself ever living there. It’s even more of a hassle to get there than it is to go to Charlestown and I think that was one of the many reasons this didn’t quite pan out. I got to the open mic and I made the worst mistake of all five minuets before the sign up sheet went up: I opened my mouth and started talking to people.
This isn’t a poor self esteem thing. I know from experience that there is a select few out there who will ever tolerate my presence, much less my personality. I realize how I come off to people and I can’t know from one minute to the next who I am going to inadvertently piss off, because why should I always walk on eggshells.
The bottom line is that by the time the headliner finished his set, I just wasn’t comfortable enough to wait for my name to get called. I’m sure there are going to be plenty of critics lambasting me for not following through, but there are two things to consider. 1: Choosing not to perform at one open mic is not going to kill me. It’s not like I just turned away a 10,000 dollar gig. 2: I don’t consider this a failure, but an event to learn from.