Reflection vs Regret

A couple of nights ago, I got an e-mail from Boston Casting. There was a shoot in Rockport and they needed people for background work. The job was for the very next day and because I can’t save a penny from drowning, I didn’t have money for the commuter rail so I had to reject the gig. That’s fine, because Boston Casting has plenty of people on their contact list and it’s not unusual for someone to only work one or two gigs over the course of a year. Plus, it’s better than saying yes to every single gig and not showing up.

Since I had that day off, the time I spent wasting on Minecraft did occasionally drift into a reflective state of mind over whether or not I should have taken the gig. The pay was sixty-four dollars, with the potential to become eighty if the day dragged out and Rockport is a very nice place to be on a hot summer day. But my options were limited.

My friend has a car, but she’s not my chauffeur, nor is she obligated to rearrange her schedule to help me. And what kind of a dick would I have to be to wake her up at around midnight to ask her to drive me to Rockport at six in the morning? My balls would sure deserve a ‘rackin.

That meant I would be forced to walk… all the way to Rockport. It’s an hour by commuter rail and I don’t know how that translates to standard traffic, but I know it would be roughly half a day’s journey by foot. Also, I only know where Rockport is in theory. In practice I know it is beyond Beverly, but there are three intervening towns in what is pretty much uncharted territory as far as I’m concerned. One wrong left turn on a back road and best case scenario, I’m living with the Tucks, worst case, banjo country. Not to mention the long term health risks of walking twenty-miles, which I have done before, along a route I was slightly more familiar with, but I have no desire to ever do again.

To sum it up it would have been unrealistic to even accept the job offer. What if I regretted the decision?

Oh man, I should have just gone up there. I bet Boston Casting really hates me for rejecting so many gigs. Artists way better than me have made bigger sacrifices and look where they are now. I could have made eighty dollars and possibly made a few long term business contacts. Now I’ve lost a ton of really good opportunities because I was afraid of getting a few stress fractures.

See how different that sounds? Regret is the unemployed sibling of Reflection. He sleeps on the couch all night and wastes the day surfing the net and updating his blog, but not contributing anything of value. Whereas Regret makes realistic decisions based on experience and learns from the mistakes he has made so he can better plan for the future.

My lesson is that I should have saved my money, even when I knew I had the job at Sabersave, so that when an opportunity like this arose I would be better prepared. If I regretted the decision, I would only be able to focus on the potential rewards that may or may not have even been feasible.


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