The Pee Is For Prolonging ~ NSFW

A short week after I stopped working for Saber Save, I got an interview at another store. Because there seems to be a Blog Troll, or group of Trolls, who have been very good at triangulating where I work, I need to once again obfuscate the particular company that I’m working at. From here on out, I will simply refer to any place I work as TheStore.

Like very place I have worked for in the state of Massacusetts, I was required to do yet another pre-employment drug test for this company. Unlike the company used by Mega-Mart which a special PeeScanner that made everything instantaneous, TheStore and many other places in the North Shore use a particular company I refer to as PeePlace. The nurse I see there most frequently is presumably the manager of the company, which leads me to speculate that at one point there must have been a meeting where she passionately declared to a room full of investors, “There is not enough pride in the business of making someone pee in a cup!”

Needless to say, this woman has no sense of humor. But the nurse who assisted her was quite personable and actually made this visit very pleasant as we exchanged quips and jokes while my bladder screamed for release.

I was given the paperwork after the Interview and the potential bossman told me the quicker the better, so I was able to get to PeePlace just under the buzzer, before they went on their hour and a half long lunch break. With no problem at all, I filled the cup and they took the specimen in a beaker and I signed everything. That was the end of it, or so I thought.

A week later I get a call from the potential bossman saying I that I need to retake the test. Darn, I thought. I should never have washed my breakfast of Cocaine Flakes down with that smoothie made from Methamphetamine and the Tears of The Innocent. No, apparently they didn’t cap something right or whatever. The Potential Bossman assured me it was nothing I did wrong and that they just needed me to test again. That would have been great to know a whole week earlier, before I began to stress over what the fuck else I was going to do if this job didn’t pan out.

So I went there and peed again. This time it may only take two days for me to hear back from The Bossman. And going forward, I’m just going to do what Jude Law did in Gattaca because this is getting ridiculous.

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