There’s no actual evidence Freud said this, so maybe it’s more accurate to say that Martin Scorsese was right. Maybe Irish really are immune to psychoanalysis for the simple reason that we as a people have never been wealthy enough to pay someone for the privilege of hearing all of our problems when there’s a pub down the road that’s much cheaper.
When you’re seeing a therapist for the first time, it can be like trying to introduce someone to a long running television series. You only have season 12 on DVD and your friend only has one hour to spend with you, so there’s no time to go over the back story, the character biographies, the deleted scenes and the commentaries and it could all be for nothing anyway because your friend just might not be that invested.
For the two weeks I saw this guy who was the Urgent Care coordinator for psychiatric triage at the hospital. But he was not to be my actual therapist, which makes things really complicated because I was comfortable telling him certain things about me. He introduced me to this new woman who was closer to my age, probably, and now we’re back to square one because she didn’t even know if I would be seeing him again. So clearly there’s no communication between the two of them and now the ball was in my court to fill her on on the stuff I just told him about.
I had my first session with her yesterday. For all intents and purposes it went well enough, but by the end of the forty-five minutes I just felt like I had wasted valuable time trying to explain my entire life history to this woman. And I just decided right then and there that it wasn’t going to work out and I canceled our next appointment. This wasn’t anything personal against her, I just couldn’t see myself wasting hour after hour trying to get at what I really wanted, which was a referral to an actual psychiatrist who could help me apply for SSI.
Here’s the thing, I already have people in my life that I can “get stuff off my chest” with and they don’t bill my insurance for the privilege.
It’s all been a study in futility. I start my seasonal job today and hopefully I have another job before that ends, so we’ll see where I am after the new year. I’m sure the stories will flow from this new job as they do with the others and that I’ll hear just as much arm chair quarterbacking as I have in previous entries.