An Internal Struggle

This isn’t exclusively a guy thing, but I have always held to the notion that reading and pooping at the same time is multitasking. Standing at the toilet urinating, if my bowels say, “Me too, me too!” and I’m at home, I absolutely have to go and find a book, or a magazine, or something of interest to keep me busy before I sit down.

This can be problematic when you’re living with roommates. Because if you’re like me, often you are listening for the sound of the toilet flushing, the light clicking off and the door flying open in anticipation of emptying your own bladder, getting a shower in, or doing any of the other bathroom related things you would be doing if the rules of society didn’t keep you out of there at that time.

So when I have to poop, is it a logical course of action to just go right then and there? Of course it is. But years of work related experience have taught me that you should always seek opportunities to do more than one thing at a time. But if I leave the bathroom now to go looking for something to read, someone else will get in there and that could take an untold amount of time, during which my urge may go away and I might have to face the discomfort of constipation.

Let this be a lesson to you all. Have a magazine rack in your bathroom.


2 thoughts on “An Internal Struggle

  1. jake

    lol so true! 😛 and when i decide to put a couple magazines in the bathroom “just in case”, the top of my toilet suddenly becomes a magazine stack which grows rapidly until taking any but the first three issues will cause the rest to topple jenga-tower-style!

    1. Nathanielle Sean Crawford Post author

      Yeah, swapping out the magazines does become a chore.

      When I worked for a detailing company with US Airways, I would always find magazines on the plane that passengers left behind. Not just the usual tabloid crap either, but a really broad range of stuff.

      My roommates never knew what I would bring next.


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