I hate Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day of 2015 was no exception. My personal definition of the holiday is the day when a man made the ultimate sacrifice for love and that still wasn’t enough. I actually picture that fateful day in the moments before St. Valentine’s execution going something like this.
My beloved, I cannot tell you what it means to lay eyes on you one last time. As you know, I was forbidden to fall in love by the Emperor himself. But you made every last moment of my life worth it and I want you to know, that as the march me out into the square to make an example of me to others by lopping off my head, that I will go to my grave never regretting the love we shared.
Ugh, couldn’t you have brushed your teeth before I got here?
For the record, I do not want people misconstruing this assessment. Relationships are a two way street and man, woman, gay, straight, bi, or tri, we all have a share of the blame cake when things go pear shaped. Sometimes it’s as simple as a thoughtless remark that you don’t even recognize as being particularly malicious.
Moving on. The reason why this is belated is that Valentine’s Day sucked especially poorly this year and for once, I decided to do the smart thing. I pushed it to the back of my mind, deleted some people from my cellphone numbers and watched Scandal in Belgravia on my laptop. Seeing Benedict Cumberbatch’s half spread in Buckingham Palace soothed my nerves and I was able to sleep off the frustration of the day.
I also discovered that my productivity on the laptop is a hundred percent better when I bring it downstairs as opposed to working on it in my bedroom, where the majority of my time is wasted on Minecraft and listening to the podcast episodes I’ve downloaded. I leave the mouse and the headphones upstairs and all there is to do is focus on the writing. Whether this adjustment will lead to better writing, I do not know, but as long as the site of the light illuminating my chiseled face makes John happy, I see no reason to stop.
By the end of the candy holiday there was a mini-blizzard that had the North Shore absolutely buzzing with anxiety over the pending apocalypse. Word had it the MBTA was already lining up a temporary director so that reporters would have someone else to blame for the snowfall and the outdated transportation system. Alas, poor General Manager Beverly Scott tendered her resignation when it turned out that she was not in fact the mutant love child of Storm and Magneto as commuters had apparently been led to believe.
Take note of this as I am documenting a moment in history when the director of the Massachusetts Bus and Transit Authority was, figuratively, thrown under the bus.
This min-blizzard came on the heels of the big 2015 nor’easter, so you can understand that people were not happy with the prospect of even more snow to manage on top of the crap we were already having trouble with. What is really annoying is that you would think that we were living in Hawaii, for as much as people complain about a weather phenomenon that we are pretty much known for in New England.
So when the morning of the 15th gave us pleasantly clear skies, I believe there was a collective sigh of relief from the citizens of the Commonwealth when they saw that the sidewalks were marginally easier to clear this morning. I was just rolling my eyes.
Although I will say that this was cold even for my tastes. My threshold of tolerance is when exposure to the causes frostbite. My hands are easily my most precious appendages and frostbite is scary. If you find you have suffered from it, buy yourself a tin of bag balm and spread it generously over the afflicted area.
Only one business was open on this post-apocalyptic day. Okay, a few business were open, but I only cared about the ones that offered coffee and free WiFi. Coffee Time Bakeshop was open on this horribly frozen day, as opposed to the businesses on Essex and Front Street.
This post is dedicated to the wonderfully dedicated staff at Coffee Time, on Essex Street in Salem, Massachusetts. Those people were the true Bosses of Winter in Salem and I have to give them their proper respect. It’s especially touching when you realize that one of the employees has to take a train to get to and from home using the aforementioned transportation system has fallen victim to the weather a number of times recently.