On March 4th, I have an appointment with a psychiatrist appointed by Mass Rehab, who will give me the evaluation and hopefully an updated diagnosis that will eventually impress the social security office.
It sounds so simple, so why am I so unnerved?
Because it seems like the message I keep getting is that if I were just perfectly willing to quietly accept the emotional abuse from my coworkers and employers, than I would be much better off. I would be perfectly able to hold down a job if I quietly allowed my coworkers to dick around while I work like a fucking dog, and just accept that the supervisors and management will continue to remain oblivious to my doing 99% of the work.
The people I am trying to seek help from have a highly idealistic view of how the world works, but I am suffering because the reality is not the same and I can’t make them see or live through what I have actually experienced. I feel like the proverbial dog that gets kicked and mistreated by his owners, only to be put down as a dangerous animal when it finally has enough and bites back.
All I know is that I can no longer survive in the normal workplace.