Three Dollars Worth of Crap

I tried to go to the bathroom the other day by walking into a mini-museum the other day. I won’t tell you where in Salem it is located, because I don’t want to make it easier for you to find it as there are better places to spend your money.

What’s it’s claim to fame? A couple of miniature exhibits that any fifth grade class could put together. Some vaguely interesting historical set ups that I could find literally anywhere in this town. Oh and there are a couple of vintage Monopoly boards.

The New York State museum in Albany asks for a gratuity. You don’t even have to pay to go in and they have a stuffed Moose exhibit. They have recreations of long houses, ancient hunters verses Wooly Mammoths and one year in my childhood they had a Dinosaurs Alive exhibit that remains in my impressionable mind to this day as one of the coolest things ever.

But now this particular museum in my town of Salem requires a fixed admission so you can look at their old Monopoly boards. You could go into any antique shop in town and find old Monopoly boards as well as any other board game you’d care to name with a similarly vintage quality to it and you wouldn’t have to pay to enter those places. Sure, you might not get to use their restroom, but there would be a public restroom between where I am located and those particular antique shops, so go figure.

Yeah, I was glad when the guy was there to tell me that there was now a fixed admission to the little museum that doesn’t have three dollars worth of crap to look at, because it saved me from having to validate their existence by stopping in for a pee.


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