The Kittery Post Deception

I lied about Bath being the last stop. John had a store credit to some urban outfitter in Kittery and I got to see what would happen if a mall had it’s own zip code. I’m joking of course. I don’t know how far spread out the various shopping outlets of Kittery Post is, but I wouldn’t be surprised if their town hall included the mayor’s office and a Subway.

The name of the particular “outfitter” escapes me at the moment, but as far as I could tell it was a much more dialed down version of L.L. Bean. John didn’t find anything that jumped out at him, so we went to McDonalds for an ice coffee where I noticed that they were serving some lobster salad roll. At first I thought it was just a regional thing, being Maine and Massachusetts constantly fight over the title of lobster capitol, but it turns out that McDonalds had just coincidentally rolled out a new item about the same time.

Across the street, we found a remote control shop that sold drones. Though I’m no expert, the little plastic constructions didn’t look like any device that I would trust to take a far more expensive smartphone into the air. My only basis for this judgment is that WalMart once sold a twenty-dollar paintball gun that seemed as cheaply built as the drone John and I looked at, which hardcore players of paintball have told me is not a guarantee of quality. So the fact that I compared drones to paintball probably exposes my inexperience even more than this whole paragraph, but my final assessment of the product is that it would be better advertised if it were called “Timmy’s First Drone”.

Speaking of cash traps, John and I learned a lesson in high way robbery when we stopped at a truck stop along the Mass Turnpike for lunch. We were in line at Burger King, but the smell of Sbarro’s was tempting and when we found out that this particular Sbarro’s had a miniature buffet. We both got big eyes and then we both got royally shafted.

So after paying thirty dollars for two plates of food, the guy at the cash register almost gave us a hard time because we preferred a cup of water over soda. I wonder if it’s because he realized that, away from the cashier, he was as vulnerable as we were and it was best not to make enemies.


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