In An Alternate World Where I Support Donald Trump

Today at the library, I had to use the bathroom. There are two bathroom keys, one for the men’s and the other for the women’s. One is yellow and the other is red, but they also both have big black letters that alert users to the gender appropriate bathroom. I have used the ladies room on occasion, when my stomach wouldn’t hold out, but I always clean up after myself.

The yellow key was in the basket at the reference desk. But what was strange is that there was a guy standing outside of the bathroom door, waiting. I noticed that the red key was missing, so I came to the logical conclusion that someone took the red key to go into the men’s room.

Well, my urge wasn’t so great, so I started to go up stairs when I heard the toilet flushing from the direction of the ladies. Sure enough, a woman came out of the women’s room with the appropriate colored key.

That means that this guy has been standing outside of the men’s room, with no one actually in there using, it unaware that the yellow key was in plain sight. I even asked him if someone had used the wrong key to go in there before, but he just shrugged, so that was why I started to go up in the first place. But seeing that this was just a case of him being oblivious, I grabbed the key and I started to go in.

This is the point where things got tricky. Because now the idiot pushed in to the restroom and said, “I don’t give a shit. I was here first.”

Well, my option was to force the issue, or to just let him use the restroom. I chose the latter, because I wasn’t about to get arrested for fighting with some dick.

Now, as to the title of my blog post, it relates to the conversation I had with the librarian, while I was waiting for the moron to use the bathroom. Although what he was doing in there when he clearly couldn’t “give a shit” was anyone’s guess.

I said, “I’m not on board with how Donald Trump views the Muslims. But if he were to propose giving everyone in the country an IQ test and deporting stupidest people, he would have my vote in a heartbeat.”



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