There was a baseball cap on my table in the living room.
We’ve had some wet weather recently. John has asked me on numerous occasions if I would like to wear a cap, or use an umbrella. I have refused. Politely. I shouldn’t really have to qualify how I refused something. The point is that I’ve said no.
But, John left the cap on my table in the living room, yesterday. Then he asked me if I wanted to wear it when I go out in the rain. Again, I said no.
You know what it’s like?
Have you ever had someone discreetly leave a Bible on your pillow? Or a tract? Have you ever repeatedly rejected someone’s attempts to convert you to their religion? (Yes, Wiccans, you’re just as guilty of this, so don’t get high and mighty now) It’s annoying and it’s completely disrespectful. But they do it anyway because deep down, they believe that the only reason you’re saying no is that you’re either too stupid to know better, or you just haven’t experienced it properly enough to make a sound judgment (the sound judgment would of course be a “Yes”).
It’s like someone insisting that the only reason you’re gay, is because you’ve clearly never had sex with the opposite gender, or just haven’t found “The right one”. Because the right one has to be the one that your “friend” approves of.
John, I love you, but this is what happens when I feel like no one is listening. I shout it out in public. Neither of us is ever happy with it, but maybe now you’ll understand that when I say no about something, it means no.
You have things you wish for me not to do. I carefully select movies that I know won’t upset you, because I am thinking of you. Because I have listened to you these past two years and I am applying what I have learned about you through listening so that we can be happy together.
But this is what happens when I feel you are not listening to me. I turn to my readers. Some of them will troll me and tell me how I’m the bad guy. I’m sure you’ll even take umbrage with the fact that I went a head and aired our problems to the world. But oh well, this is a step I am taking.
Consider this an exercise in our relationship.