Category Archives: Psychology

Hats Off to You

There was a baseball cap on my table in the living room.

We’ve had some wet weather recently. John has asked me on numerous occasions if I would like to wear a cap, or use an umbrella. I have refused. Politely. I shouldn’t really have to qualify how I refused something. The point is that I’ve said no.

But, John left the cap on my table in the living room, yesterday. Then he asked me if I wanted to wear it when I go out in the rain. Again, I said no.

You know what it’s like?

Have you ever had someone discreetly leave a Bible on your pillow? Or a tract? Have you ever repeatedly rejected someone’s attempts to convert you to their religion? (Yes, Wiccans, you’re just as guilty of this, so don’t get high and mighty now)  It’s annoying and it’s completely disrespectful. But they do it anyway because deep down, they believe that the only reason you’re saying no is that you’re either too stupid to know better, or you just haven’t experienced it properly enough to make a sound judgment (the sound judgment would of course be a “Yes”).

It’s like someone insisting that the only reason you’re gay, is because you’ve clearly never had sex with the opposite gender, or just haven’t found “The right one”. Because the right one has to be the one that your “friend” approves of.

John, I love you, but this is what happens when I feel like no one is listening. I shout it out in public. Neither of us is ever happy with it, but maybe now you’ll understand that when I say no about something, it means no.

You have things you wish for me not to do. I carefully select movies that I know won’t upset you, because I am thinking of you. Because I have listened to you these past two years and I am applying what I have learned about you through listening so that we can be happy together.

But this is what happens when I feel you are not listening to me. I turn to my readers. Some of them will troll me and tell me how I’m the bad guy. I’m sure you’ll even take umbrage with the fact that I went a head and aired our problems to the world. But oh well, this is a step I am taking.

Consider this an exercise in our relationship.

A Dog’s Perspective

Last night was a reminder that sometimes I don’t always consider things from another’s point of view. As you may have read, Dickens is John’s fourteen year-old cockerspaniel that I have begun assuming responsibility for.

John and I are not usually up that late. By 10:30 we’re usually fast asleep and Dickens is either on the floor in the bathroom, or in the hall between our rooms, or under John’s bed. Last night was different because I was watching two really good episodes of Dog and Beth: On The Hunt. During one of the commercial breaks, I came up stairs to try and get Dickens to go outside and he gave me a look like, “Who the hell are you?”

I didn’t register this until later, so I put my hands out like I do whenever I have a treat that I want him to sniff at, because that usually gets him to follow me. (I give him the treat later, relax) At first, Dickens got up and walked away from me. So I tried getting closer and he barked and snapped at me.

Of course I was a little shaken, because he has never done that to me, ever. I gave him his space and it wasn’t until a few minutes later that I realized what happened.

Dickens wasn’t expecting anyone to be downstairs. As far he was concerned, I was a complete stranger and it threw him off when he saw me come up to get him. He recognized me the second time when I came up and there were no problems. But it was my fault for not taking his perspective into account in the first place.