Category Archives: Uncategorized

A Dry Run to November

So the polls were surprisingly easy. Not rocket science by any means. But this was just a dinky State Primary and all our corner of the universe cared about was the Sheriff.

All of my single serving coworkers were great to spend eight hours with, and I hope I made a good impression on them. But my main concern is November. Should I take the training for that day? Should I risk wading through the most politically and emotionally charged presidential election of my lifetime?

People who sit behind their computers at a safe distance from all of the drama will quickly say, “yeah, man, take the paycheck.”

People who have actually paid attention to the media and live fairly close to me know what I’m talking about. Some people have had fairly civil discussions about what side of the coin they’re on, but there have been incidents.

The most recent one in Salem was the bombing of a newspaper box for an LGBTQ friendly newspaper called The Rainbow Times. The city rallied and replaced it to show solidarity but still, bombing. And they haven’t caught the people who did it because the city’s CCTV is not at the Jason Bourne quality required to actually be effective at night.

You can see why I’d be a little wary of spending eight hours behind the table, asking people what party they’re voting for.

*Clears Throat*

Haven’t written anything in a while. Here’s something from the past.

Confessions of a Cart Jockey

I wish I could meet whoever it was that first turned throat clearing into a gesture for getting someone’s attention. Because at times like this, when the action is involuntary, I feel a backlog of throat punches coming for the event when I meet the guilty party.

Sometime’s it’s out of concern. Other times, I’m sure it’s about ego. Because inevitably, someone will hear me clearing my throat, which is entirely for the purposes of removing the anthropomorphic mucus that has taken residence in my lungs. Then they will respond with, “are you okay?”

The first thousand times, I have no problem answering politely. After about the billionth is when I’ll start getting snippy.

“Oh, I’m fine. But everyday I dream of living the high life of a Nyquil commercial actor and this is just me rehearsing.”

For those who are not responding out of concern, but out of the…

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In One Ear And…

What I Say: “John, I love you. I just wish that you could learn to stop focusing on the things you see as imperfections. You can’t love parts of people and throw the rest away. You would never respect me if I kept giving in to your constant attempts to alter me to your exact preferences because you would just keep finding things that you didn’t like. If you truly love me as a person, you will learn to tolerate or ignore the things you disapprove of and focus only on the positives.”

What John hears.

A Record Number Of Readers Saves The Day

I wrote a follow up post about my experiences at the Beverly Library the other day. This post as laced with mean-spirited jabs at certain people within the institution in question, but I didn’t expect the post to attract so many readers.

I don’t why I’m suddenly so observant, when it didn’t bother me in the slightest to brag about my rather abrupt exit from The Single Mop Superstore and to subsequently defend myself to the mouthy trolls who judged my actions afterwards.

Could it be that while I have no problem squaring off with the librarians on their home turf I have no wish to be labeled an Internet Bully? I mean, I wouldn’t have mentioned them by name. But the nicknames and clever character descriptions would not have flattered them in the slightest, and they would undoubtedly recognize their own unique oddities no matter how I chose to dress them up.  In the context, I certainly wouldn’t be bullying any more than writers like Torey Hayden and Mary McCracken were bullies when they criticized the actions of their colleagues.

No, I think the reason I am choosing to stay my hand just now, is that I have no wish to alienate the readers who gave me a record number of hits yesterday.

Thank you readers. But just a fair warning, I kowtow to no one and will resume my spiteful critique of humanity in the very foreseeable future.  Today is my gift.

Although I will point out the oddity of a coffee cup in such a haphazard location, which likely contains something far more damaging to library materials than my measly handful of pistachios. (And the dozen or so fiber bars that I’ve also eaten at those very computers)


Hats Off to You

There was a baseball cap on my table in the living room.

We’ve had some wet weather recently. John has asked me on numerous occasions if I would like to wear a cap, or use an umbrella. I have refused. Politely. I shouldn’t really have to qualify how I refused something. The point is that I’ve said no.

But, John left the cap on my table in the living room, yesterday. Then he asked me if I wanted to wear it when I go out in the rain. Again, I said no.

You know what it’s like?

Have you ever had someone discreetly leave a Bible on your pillow? Or a tract? Have you ever repeatedly rejected someone’s attempts to convert you to their religion? (Yes, Wiccans, you’re just as guilty of this, so don’t get high and mighty now)  It’s annoying and it’s completely disrespectful. But they do it anyway because deep down, they believe that the only reason you’re saying no is that you’re either too stupid to know better, or you just haven’t experienced it properly enough to make a sound judgment (the sound judgment would of course be a “Yes”).

It’s like someone insisting that the only reason you’re gay, is because you’ve clearly never had sex with the opposite gender, or just haven’t found “The right one”. Because the right one has to be the one that your “friend” approves of.

John, I love you, but this is what happens when I feel like no one is listening. I shout it out in public. Neither of us is ever happy with it, but maybe now you’ll understand that when I say no about something, it means no.

You have things you wish for me not to do. I carefully select movies that I know won’t upset you, because I am thinking of you. Because I have listened to you these past two years and I am applying what I have learned about you through listening so that we can be happy together.

But this is what happens when I feel you are not listening to me. I turn to my readers. Some of them will troll me and tell me how I’m the bad guy. I’m sure you’ll even take umbrage with the fact that I went a head and aired our problems to the world. But oh well, this is a step I am taking.

Consider this an exercise in our relationship.

Wow, 20 days is Unruly

I can’t believe I let twenty days go by without a post.

Take it as a good sign, if you will, that nothing of interest has happened that was so annoying that I would want to post it.

On the other hand, it is effing hot in this library. I know they can afford air conditioning, because they could afford to keep the place as hot as a greenhouse all winter. Maybe I’m wrong, but it stands to reason that if they can do the one, they can do the opposite. Feel free to educate me if you know better.

By the way, Survive by the Sword is free for one year. Click on the link to find the coupon code and download the book, free of charge. Then read it and review it, and of you’re very lucky, I might read you some of my poetry as a way of saying thank you.